Birds and Dogs
by ZakuroU
Summary: Two years after the State alchemist exams, Edward and Alphonse are still searching. Back from a cold northern town, Edward has fallen sick. After being forced to admit to Roy Mustang the truth about his brother's absence, Alphonse leaves looking a little down. Roy reads over their report, and realises he's nearly missed an important event in the Elric calendar... Parental!RoyEd
1. The Special Day

**_Title: Birds and Dogs_**

**Author note:**

**Alright! This is my second little three-chapter thingy, and I'm hoping it does a little better than my last. SUCCEED, LITTLE FANFIC, SUCCEED! According to reviewers, my last one wasn't actually bad, it was just a little too long for me to have posted all three chapters all at once. *sweatdrop***

**So this time, AT INTERVALS! :D**

**(Brotherhood) Takes place within the timeskip after Edward has passed the exam, but before he turns fifteen and then things go ****_really_**** crazy in the world of FMA. And I know that Hughes doesn't live in East City and have no clue as to whether he had a car or not; but he does for this fic.**

**And yeah, I flaffed around with the storyline a little. I could tell you what all the little changes are, but that would take too long. (Look, I'm doing it anyway; Hughes family introduced, Alphonse hasn't received the little book he writes in yet, Major Armstrong already introduced, etc, etc.) Includes a bit of OOC-ness in one scene, but all in the name of the story. Also, this fic was supposed to be light, but…**

**WARNING: Contains mild mentions of suicide in later chapters, so if that's not your cup of tea, you can skip a little bit of the next chapter when I post it.**

* * *

><p><em>The birds and the dogs,<em>

_Are as different as can be._

_So how is he both?_

* * *

><p>"Zzz…zzzz…z… No, Maes… Zz…zzz…zz…"<p>

"Sir."

"Zzz… Fuhrer…zz… Zzz…z…"

"Sir!"

"Zz… Zzz…z…zzz… I'll make it…right…Zz…"

"Colonel Mustang, sir!"

"Zzz…z…zzz... I know… Zzzz… I can fix it…"

"Roy Mustang! Get up!"

"Zzz—snork! Yah-huh?" Roy jerked up in his chair, his eyes snapping open. "What? What is it? Is the Fuhrer coming? Tell him I'll be right there! Is it Hughes? Tell him to shut up! Is it Fullmetal? Tell him he's short! Is it paperwork? Tell him…! Um. I'll get a pen…"

Colonel Roy Mustang gave his head a quick shake, then rifled about on his desk, pushing aside various documents and bits of stationary until he located his pen.

He held it up with a weary smile. "Pen."

Lieutenant Hawkeye's placid expression didn't change as she told him, "There's probably a better place to sleep somewhere about base than at your desk, sir. And no, as odd as it may seem, you've completed all your assigned paperwork for today."

"Well." Roy set his pen down again and straightened his back, stretching a little. "What is it, then?"

"Alphonse Elric is waiting outside in the corridor. The secretary tells me he says he'd like to see you. She also says she'd like to know if you're free Thursday night."

"Tell her I'd love to hook up sometime," Roy said conversationally. "She's very pretty, and I know this beautiful little cafe about three blocks down—"

"And Alphonse?" Hawkeye interrupted.

"Ah, send him in." Roy stood and stretched his arms, closing his eyes in a yawn. "One more thing! How is it I've finished all my paperwork this morning without actually doing any, Lieutenant?"

"I slipped all of today's paperwork into the pile of yesterday's overdue you were doing at two in the morning."

Roy pouted, dropping his arms by his sides. "So you made me do _extra_ work last night? Do you know how long that took me? And now I'm absolutely wrecked!"

"It means your schedule for today has opened up and you now have time for more important things, such as meetings and the like," Hawkeye explained. "It also eliminates chance of you procrastinating and not finishing today's paperwork as you've already completed it. Furthermore, you're a lot quieter when you're tired. Benefits any way you look at it."

"For you, maybe," Roy muttered as she left the room. "But it just leaves me exhausted."

There was a knock on the door and Alphonse Elric entered, stepping into the room holding a thick yellow envelope and looking a little bashful.

_Actually_, Roy thought. _He always looks like that._

"Good morning, sir," Alphonse greeted with a polite bow of his head.

"'Morning," Roy returned, sitting back down. "I was expecting the other Elric. Is there any particular reason I'm not graced with his company today?"

"Ah, um, I came to drop in his report in his place… I can do that, right?"

"Yes," Roy responded. "Although, his excuse for not turning up himself better be good. And legitimate. He's missing his routine lecture on how to complete a mission _without_ exploding a building in the process. We're running out of concrete."

"I apologise for that…" Alphonse trailed off, rubbing the back of his helmet. "We didn't realise the foundations were so weak."

"Hm. Well, be sure to tell your brother I'm taking the damage fee out of _his_ budget. Anyway, let's see the report. And tell me, why am I not directly lecturing him?"

Alphonse clacked up to the desk and set the report down, saying, "I'm sorry if it's a little brief; there wasn't really any more we could add."

Roy opened the envelope and skimmed the report with heavy eyes. "Ah, this'll do fine. I'm too tired to be bothered by the length right now. It's a good enough description anyway… Alphonse, did you help write this by any chance?"

"Um, just a little. I helped with the details here and there. The bulk of it is brother's work, though."

"I see. So, why isn't he here?"

"I also helped him print it out. Brother always had trouble with type-writers. He goes nuts every time he makes a mistake and sometimes he breaks them. Actually, he breaks them a lot." Alphonse had evaded the question again.

"Taking time to cool off from it, is he?" Roy asked, slipping the sheet back into the envelope.

"He's…got things to do," Alphonse replied, shifting his weight from leg to leg.

"So, he's too busy to come down here, then?"

"Um, something like that…"

"Alphonse."

"Y-yes?"

"Where exactly is your brother and why is he absent?"

"He's in one of the dorms…resting. The last assignment took more out of him than he cares to admit so I brought the report in for him while he sleeps."

"Is that right?" Roy murmured, placing his chin on a palm.

Alphonse made a quiet noise that was hard to distinguish between agreement and a squeak of nervousness.

Roy's soldier instincts kicked into action. _He's lying._

"So, what's _really_ the matter?"

Alphonse jumped. "Ah, um…! You see, it's…uh… H-he told me not to tell you."

"Alphonse," Roy said, his smooth voice low. "If you do not tell me the correct reason for your elder brother's absence, I will be forced to report him as AWOL. You do know what that may result in, don't you?"

Alphonse looked at his feet.

"He will probably just be issued a warning, but in the worst case scenario, he could receive court-martial or stripped of his rank. The most likely course of action the military will take will only be to mark his permanent records with this, which won't look good to higher-ups. This in turn could result in—"

"He's sick!" Alphonse broke in. "Brother's sick! Is that what you wanted?!"

Roy paused momentarily, his eyes flickering across the room to Alphonse, who fell into an apologetic silence. Of course he'd exaggerated Edward's punishment greatly, but it had got him the information he'd desired.

After a few seconds of quiet, it was Roy who spoke. "Thank you, Alphonse. That's all I needed to hear."

Alphonse bowed his head politely and turned to leave.

"You're not dismissed yet," Roy chided, wagging his finger in a mocking way.

"Oh. R-right." Alphonse turned back around and stood motionless, apart from the wringing of his metal wrists.

"Worried?" Roy asked, raising an eyebrow and standing to walk over to the window. If he looked high enough, he could just barely see the streets over the wall of the base. He peered out curiously at the roads below and observed how people scurried about on the paths and then looked almost directly down, into the courtyard.

Nothing interesting took place within this space, unless you enjoyed watching races between blades of grass poking out between the gaps in the concrete.

Roy did not enjoy watching grass race as it grew out of concrete.

"A little," Alphonse finally admitted. "But it's okay. I'm more anxious about what brother'll do to me if he finds out I told you he's not well…"

"I see. So, how did he catch sick anyway? Swimming in a lake? Casing after old, decrepit alchemists riddled with age and disease? Some foreign illness he hasn't already built an uncanny resistance to?"

"Oh, uh, I'm not one hundred percent sure," Alphonse said. "But it's not anything we can't deal with ourselves. Fever, cough, headache… You know. Just stuff like that."

There was silence.

Roy took this time to examine a bird perched on the outermost wall of the building, flapping about and pecking at the twigs and leaves that drifted down into the courtyard from the great oak that stood just outside the base. Then it picked up a twig and flew off with it. It was back seconds later to continue with it's pecking and scratching and flapping and chirping and…

…doing stuff that birds did.

"But, y'know, when brother's sick, _brother's sick_," Alphonse told him. "When it rains, it pours. That kinda thing. He tries to hide it and ever takes any medicine. But when you already know he's sick and won't let him get away with it, he complains so much it makes you think he really is going to die."

The boy gave a short, nervous laugh. "But, in the end, he gets better, and we keep going."

Alphonse seemed to be handling the situation quite well, but Roy could sense the real anxiety behind his words. The real meaning.

_Brother's not well. I hate it when he's sick; because he's always _really_ sick. It's always over the top with him. He won't just do things at a normal pace. It worries me sometimes. And I can't do anything for him. I'm scared that someday, he'll catch sick and won't get better. I'm scared he'll die._

"Funny thing…" Roy mumbled, half to himself.

"Excuse me, sir?" queried Alphonse.

"I said it's a funny thing, how it is. Your brother is a soldier, and yet he's also a boy. How can one person be two so very different things?" Roy wondered aloud. He pointed with a thumb out the window. "He can't pick one direct path set by nature, not like that bird out there. If he's a boy and a soldier, it's like that bird trying to be both a bird and a dog. But no, it sticks as a bird and just does what it has to."

"I think we gave up any hope of following nature's true path long ago," murmured Alphonse softly. "But the bird and him have something in common. They both 'just do what they have to'."

"Hm." Roy stared thoughtfully at the bird out the window for a while. "Odd."

He turned away from the window again, his eyes closed and his hands behind his back. "You can go now. Tell your brother it's in mine and his best interests that he returns to work soon. The requests will pile up without him."

"Yes, sir," mumbled Alphonse, moving to the door. He was gone a few seconds later.

_Back to the dorms, no doubt_, Roy thought. He looked back at the report.

"Hm. Alphonse's penmanship is a lot better than his brother's," he said to himself. "I wonder if Fullmetal would let me employ him as a secretary…" He let out a laugh. "No way. There's not a snowflake's chance in hell of that, is there?"

His tired eyes scanned the page once more, but skidded to a halt at the messily executed excuse of a signature Edward had supplied.

In reality, it wasn't even an excuse; it was a squiggle, and not a single letter was distinguishable.

But he paid the sad, mangled name no mind, for it was the _date_ it had been _written_ that had caught the Flame Colonel's eye.

_That's today, right?_ He snatched the paper up and narrowed his eyes at the date, then his gaze snapped up to the door.

He pictured Alphonse's sombre demeanor, his voice even softer than usual, and the strange, faraway aura he'd emitted.

"This date… It can't be, can it?" Roy muttered, suddenly a little guilty. He set the sheet down and stared at the door Alphonse had just exited through. "No way…"

* * *

><p><em>As a dog I'm stuck,<em>

_Sniffing at empty, cold trails._

_Can I fly with birds…?_

* * *

><p>"Brother? Do you want lunch?"<p>

"Ugh…no."

"I should have recorded that," Alphonse joked. "Rare, huh?"

"Nnngh," was the only response he received.

Edward was sprawled on the lower bunk of the bed the dorm provided, the olive green sheets twisted around his feet and his arms wrapped around the pillow. His normally glossy, braided blonde hair was draped about his shoulders and face like some kind of limp, dull octopus, his cheeks were red and golden eyes glazed and too-bright with fever.

He was wearing what appeared to be his singlet and a pair of boxers, and had his face pressed stubbornly into the mattress. His body gave a convulsive jerk as he coughed into it, barely muffling the hacking noise.

"Next time you'll listen to me when I tell you to get the flu jab, huh?" Alphonse said, turning the page of the book he was reading. He'd arrived a couple of minutes ago, having come directly from Roy's office.

"Al…flu shots're evil. You just get the flu anyway… And don't rub it in…" Edward moaned, lifting his head slightly. "I feel bad 'nuff already. What's the date, by th'way? How long've I been here?"

"Two days," Alphonse responded quickly. In reality, it had been three, but he had the feeling telling Edward he'd wasted three days of extra research time wasn't the best thing to do.

Plus, if Edward knew it had been three days, he might figure out what day today was and…

Well, that'd just be a whole unnecessary hassle.

"Al…"

"Yeah?"

"What's the date...?"

"Why'd you wanna know? It's not important. It's like…the eighth or something, I'm not sure."

"Eighth, hunh?" Edward rolled onto his back and settled back down. "Okay."

Alphonse let out a soft sigh of relief. Of course, he didn't really have any breath to sigh with or anything like that, but was the thought that counted, right?

"Do you want anything to drink?" Alphonse asked.

"Nuh-uh."

"Are you sure? You need to keep hydrated when you have a fever."

"'M fine…"

Alphonse stood and went to the small kitchen, a separate room that consisted solely of a tiny stove, refrigerator and sink, and poured his brother some water nonetheless.

He went back into the room with it and prodded Edward in the shoulder, saying, "Drink up. It'll make your head feel better."

"Mno," Edward argued his point to the pillow. "It'll just make me feel sick."

"Brother… C'mon… Please," Alphonse pleaded, shaking the elder Elric's shoulder gently. "You hafta drink _something_, or you'll end up getting dehydrated."

"Grr…fine," Edward turned his head to the side and sent a half-hearted glare in Alphonse's direction before sitting up and taking a sip of the water.

"More," Alphonse urged, making it clear that he wasn't leaving until at least half the glass had emptied.

As if to make his defeat less prominent, Edward drank the rest at a snail's pace with his eyes on Alphonse the entire time, lit with tired annoyance.

He handed the empty glass back to his brother, who accepted it and promptly said, "Sleep."

Edward had no trouble obeying this command, flopping back down on the bed.

Three minutes later he awoke again, mumbling, "Cold."

Alphonse looked up from his spot on the floor opposite, and cursed the fact that his hands could not feel temperature. He fetched the thermometer and used it instead.

Upon reading Edward's temperature, he looked down at his brother, and imaginary-frowned.

The boy was on his side, curled under the sheets in a futile attempt to gather some warmth from them, shivering. His red cheeks stood out against the white of the rest of his face, and every inch of skin was beaded with sweat.

"You only feel cold. You're actually at 104 degrees."

"H-how can I be that hot when I feel so cold…?" Edward grumbled, cringing. "Head hurts."

"Just try to rest. If you won't take your medicine, there's nothing I can do," Alphonse told him in a soft voice.

Edward didn't answer, just shifted slightly and let out a quiet moan.

Alphonse's soul squirmed and kicked at this, and he wished there was something more he could do. But Edward wouldn't let his brother feed him any medicine, he wouldn't eat and outright refused to visit a doctor.

He seemed to have fallen back asleep, his breathing shallow and laboured. His brow creased and his teeth clenched, making him appear as if he was in pain.

Alphonse, being unable to stand seeing his brother so helpless, went back to reading.

It was a good book; a novel, not an alchemy reference or historical recount like usual. He'd checked it out last time they'd visited a library and planned to return it before they left the city again.

It followed the story of three young children battling against ferocious odds to try and find a peaceful home to live in away from the starving, war-torn place where they'd been raised.

It reminded Alphonse a little of his and Edward's journey.

A couple of minutes had passed, before there was a soft;

_Knock, knock._

"Who…?" Alphonse stood, making his way to the door. He opened it filled with confusion, and who should he find on the other side but Roy Mustang himself, bearing a small briefcase and a book. Behind him stood one Maes Hughes, who waved enthusiastically and smiled.

"Good morning," Roy stated good-naturedly, sporting a little grin and looking as if his bizarre appearance was nothing out of the ordinary.

Maes was carrying what looked to Alphonse to be a sloppily-decorated shoebox, and a cheesy grin stretched across his face at the sight of Alphonse's shocked-to-a-standstill state.

"Hi, Al!" he said with a flourish of his free arm.

"G-good morning…" Alphonse stammered, still struggling to come to terms with this baffling occurrence.

"You're probably wondering why we're here," Roy told the younger Elric. "Am I right?"

Alphonse nodded in mute surprise.

"Well, the reason is as follows; I was flicking through Edward's-and-your-report, when it struck me what the date actually was. Doing paperwork from eight at night to two in the morning sort of has that 'brain-dead' effect on you, you see, and when it finally sank in, I thought I'd better do something. So Hawkeye managed to sneak me the rest of the day off and—"

Maes took over. "—and then he called me, and I managed to sneak away from work with him and grab this," he motioned to the rainbow-coloured, glittery shoebox under his arm. "And we both came here as fast as we could."

Roy smiled again and Maes' grin widened to stupid proportions.

"Happy thirteenth, Alphonse," they said in unison.

Alphonse's imaginary heart missed a beat, and his clanking arm flew up to his metal chin. "Wh-what?! How did you—How did you know?!"

"You don't seriously think we'd forget, do you?" Maes said, raising his eyebrows. "We brought presents and everything."

Alphonse shook his head vigorously. "No, no, you shouldn't have! No!"

"Don't be daft," Roy chided. "We already have. I'd bought this a month in advance; I don't think it's sat in my desk drawer all this time for no reason!"

He handed Alphonse the book he was holding, nodding his head and saying, "Hope you enjoy it. It was one of my favourites when I was about your age, and it should be a nice break from all the alchemy books you read. Lieutenant Hawkeye and I picked it out, so it's from her too. One of her favourites as well. She sends her congratulations, and wishes she could have come along too."

Alphonse stood stone-still, uttering a stunned word of thanks.

"Oh! Oh! Me now!" Maes exclaimed. "This one's from me and Gracia and Elysia, and Armstrong, Havoc, Fuery, Breda and Falman all contributed too!"

He handed over the over-decorated, brightly-coloured box and squeaked, "Elysia decorated the box! Her artistic talent is shining through even at such a young age! She gets that from her mother!"

Alphonse inspected the glittering eyesore in his hands and imaginary smiled. He thought it was beautiful.

"Eeya! Open it!" exclaimed Maes, slapping his hands to his cheeks and stamping his feet like an excitable three-year-old. "Openitopenitopenitopenit!"

Alphonse obeyed this squished up excuse for an order and removed the lid from the container. Inside was a stack of various cards, as well as a small leather-bound notebook, an expensive-looking pen, a bow tie, an excessively decorated spoon engraved with the words 'Never give up' in swirling cursive, a pack of crayons, a doll, and some high-grade metal polish.

Maes, unable to resist, blurted out the entire story behind the box's contents in one long, high-speed tyrade.

"Well, at first we thought of stuff we should all get you, so we all went out and bought a whole bunch of little things to put in it. Major Armstrong had that spoon engraved; he says you can use it once you get your original body back and that it's crafted from the finest silver, and was taken from a large collection of antique cutlery that had been passed down the Armstrong line for generations. He said he's told his family about your nobility and that they were touched and thought you deserved it and then he he started crying and went all shirtless and sparkly all over the place and I ran away."

Roy gave Maes an odd look.

"Falman went out and got you that pen from a specialty store all the way in Central when he was transferred there temporarily and he said he thought it suited you, with your line of work and everything. Fuery got you that polish. He said he'd been saving it for a special occasion because it's rare and the best brand around, but he thought you deserved it more. And the bow tie's from Havoc. He says that you can wear it out to all kinds of fancy places when you get your body back, and that he's sure you'll be a hit because the ladies love bow ties and that bow ties are cool."

Maes continued his blabbering, oblivious to the fact that Alphonse was almost drowning in all of the grateful and touched emotions flooding his heart.

"Elysia put in the crayons! She says that you can write out your research with them, and draw pictures when you get bored!" Maes' voice heightened drastically in pitch and he started to go red in the face as his words sped up. "And then, and then, get this… She put her favourite dolly in there! She says she'll keep you company at night time if you get lonely!"

Maes let out a huge sigh, his cheeks burning and a faraway look of content and love flooding his eyes. "Elysia…! So generous!" He beamed then let out a giggle, obviously caught in some trance of fatherly stupidity. "So cute!"

Roy sighed noisily then took over. "Breda got the notebook and wrote down all kinds of foods that he loves and things he'd heard of but never tried, so that _you_ could try them when you got your body back. We all thought it was a great idea so we started writing down all the foods we like and stuff we wanted to try in there, and before we knew it, we'd even started writing down stuff that you could do for fun after you're restored. We'd all written cards as well."

He shrugged. "And then we put it all in a cardboard box. Hughes here thought it looked too boring and volunteered to have Elysia decorate it. Before we knew it, there were…rainbows and stickers and glitter and drawings all over it."

"Hee-hee-hee!" Maes stamped his foot and his grin stretched even further to ludicrous level. "You should have seen how happy Elysia was to decorate it! She went all out and it was _sooo adorable!"_

Roy rolled his eyes and motioned to the box Alphonse was holding. "And that's what happened."

"I-I think it's just great. Tell Elysia I think it's really pretty," Alphonse said, his voice almost cracking.

"Of course!" Maes responded cheerily, shaking himself out of his stupor and back into the world. "She was so happy to do it for you! We all were!"

"You… You really shouldn't have…" Alphonse mumbled, his metal face plate somehow gaining a pink hue.

"Nonsense!" Maes exclaimed merrily. "Everyone else has birthdays 'round this place, so why shouldn't you? You're no different from the rest of us, bar the fact that you're turning _thirteen!_ A teenager now, huh? Awesome!"

Roy nodded his enthusiastic agreement. "Yes, yes. You're all grown up now. Special occasion, it is. Required some form of recognition."

There was a pause.

"How's Ed doing?" asked Maes eventually, his voice having quietened now. "Heard he wasn't well."

"He… He's doing okay," Alphonse replied cautiously. "Still won't take any medicine, but otherwise he's being somewhat cooperative. His fever's high, but he's asleep most of the time so…"

Roy nodded again, this time out of sympathy. "Mm. Fever's a pain in the neck."

Maes' eyes glinted excitedly in the light of the grounds. "Reminds me of the time Elysia came down with a fever. Did I ever tell you the story?"

Roy slapped a hand across Maes' mouth a split second before the first word of the elongated, almost fangirl-like tale could be uttered. "That's okay. I don't think we need to hear that just now. It's Alphonse's birthday, remember, so try not to bore him to death with your family stories."

Maes mumbled something around his best friend's hand, but Alphonse was unable to distinguish the words.

"What was that, Maes?" Roy asked teasingly, a coy grin seeping onto his face. "I can't quite hear you."

A second later, the Colonel recoiled from his friend as if he'd been burnt, whipping his hand away and flicking it in the air. "Eyagh! Maes! That's disgusting!"

"Heheheh!" Maes pushed his glasses up the bridge of his nose and grinned victoriously. "Lick the hand! Never fails!"

Alphonse looked at the two men, one of whom was wiping his hand vigorously against the trousers of his military uniform, grimacing, and the other, who had begun an exaggerated victory dance, spinning in circles and jeering.

He wondered if they really were grown men they claimed to be.

"Alright, alright. Enough," snapped Roy, grabbing Maes's arm mid-twirl. They stopped messing about and turned back to Alphonse, who looked over his shoulder into the dorm.

"Um, do you wanna come in for some tea or something?" he offered, turning his head to face them once again.

"Why not?" Roy responded, shrugging and looking to his friend. "I'm sure Lieutenant Hawkeye won't mind if we both stay, to keep Al company on his special day."

"Yeah, she's not _that_ cruel, is she?" Maes replied.

Alphonse stepped to the side and Roy went in past him, whilst Maes stopped to whisper, "He just wants to get out of work."

"Not true!" Roy's voice floated back out. "I have filed all the required papers, have the rest of the day off and am quite happy to spend some time with Alphonse on his birthday."

"Damn his supersonic hearing," Maes hissed.

"It's not supersonic," came the response. "You simply speak too loudly."

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><p><strong>Okay, so, that's the first chapter done! There'll be two more after this.<strong>

**I hope you liked it, and if you did, leave a review for me. (You can review if you didn't like it as well - either way, I appreciate it.)**

**And haiku because I felt like haiku. Is it a nice touch or should I not have done it? (Either way, they're already laced into the story now...)**

**Alrighty then! I guess that's enough from me! I hope you'll leave a review, and if you decide to follow this, seeya next chapter!**


	2. Cowardice

**Okay, this story did a lot better than my other trilogy thingy. It dot more than twice as many reviews in the first chapter as it did in the whole thing! So anyway, this is the...er...angst-y chapter. There are only mild mentions of suicide, but I feel I should warn you all the same. And now I have.**

**So go ahead! Read on, into the second installment of Birds and Dogs!**

**On an unrelated note, HAPPY AUSTRALIA DAY!**

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><p><em>I won't be able,<em>

_To apologise enough._

_Sorry anyway._

* * *

><p>Edward's eyes opened on a stretch of endless blue sky. Wispy clouds were scattered about it, and a blinding white sun hung in the middle.<p>

He turned his head slightly, taking in a seemingly boundless field of waving grass. Pale white flowers dotted the green expanse, the only sign of irregularity in the neverending place.

"Edward."

Edward's body jerked, his pupils contacting and his chest tightening. He raised himself slowly off the ground, his eyes wide and startled.

"Mom…?" His hoarse, cracking voice reached a surprisingly high pitch.

Trisha Elric sat before him, smiling gently and reaching forward with one hand to grab his wrist gently. "Ah, has my little man caught a fever?"

Edward just sat in mute shock as his mother took his hand closer and turned it palm side up, tracing her finger up his arm to his forehead.

"It's okay. Don't worry," she said softly. "I'll take care of you."

"Mom…" Edward repeated, his face taking on a look of disbelief, longing and a long-contained anguish. "I… I'm sorry…"

"Shh," Trisha hushed, placing a hand on her son's forehead. "It's okay. I'll help you. I can make you better."

She drew him in close, pulling his head into her arms. For one brief second, Edward closed his eyes and his head lolled contentedly, taking a fleeting moment to breathe in his mother's scent.

"I can make you better…like you couldn't do for me."

Edward's heart missed a beat as he felt something warm and wet seeping onto his chest, over his shoulder and down his back.

_Blood._

He recoiled immediately, the realisation dawning on him.

"Mom!" he grabbed her shoulders, frantically searching her body for the source of the bleeding. But it saturated almost every inch of her form, pooling on the grass beneath her and staining the earth crimson.

Edward's front was coated with that same blood, his black jacket and trousers now a bright shade of red.

The woman before him smiled again, her eyes soft and sorrowful. "It's okay, Edward. It's okay."

"No, no it's not," Edward insisted, his tone panicky. "You-you're bleeding…! We have to… I have to…!" He trailed off, his breath catching in his throat and his hands darting wildly across his mother's body.

"Don't be like that, Ed. I have to go now."

"No… Please, no! Don't… Don't go!" Edward pleaded, grasping Trisha's hand. But it was fading - actually, physically fading - and her body was quickly becoming insubstantial.

"See you, my little man," she said, her face disappearing before Edward's eyes.

"Mom…" whispered Edward, reaching forward with a bloodstained arm. "Don't go! Mom, no!"

He lunged forward but clasped nothing, falling onto his hands and knees.

"Please no…" he mumbled. "It hurts… I'm so cold and it hurts."

He cast his head up to the nonchalantly blissful sky, shouting, "Mom! I'm sorry! So sorry! Please forgive me!"

* * *

><p><em>Both of us forgot.<em>

_What could possibly equal_

_A human soul's worth?_

* * *

><p>"Gak! I-I-I… I'm sorry…!" Edward forced his heavy eyes open only to cringe and close them again as a wave of dizziness washed over him, making him feel sick. "Ohh…"<p>

He rolled over onto his side and curled around his left arm, facing the wall. Pressing his forehead against the cool surface of it, he let out a shaky breath he hadn't realised he'd been holding.

"Urgh…" Another bout of sickness hit, making him groan loudly and grit his teeth. It eventually passed, followed by a painful series of coughs and a furious headache.

This was uncomfortable.

In the main room, Maes set down his cup of coffee and looked over his shoulder at the door into the bedroom. "Doesn't sound good."

Roy shifted in his seat, looking up as Maes turned his attention back to the table. "No. Doesn't sound too good at all."

There was a soft grinding noise as Alphonse wrung his rough hands against the metal of his wrists.

"Go check on him," said Roy, motioning to Alphonse with a flick of his head. "If it'll make you feel any better."

Alphonse nodded and stood up, clanking his way over to the bedroom and pushing the door open. He stepped inside, shuffling as quietly as he could towards his brother's bed, trying not to aggravate his headache. Softly, he called out, "Brother?"

"Nghk. Yeah?" was the hoarse reply he received.

"Are you okay? You want anything? How are you feeling?" Alphonse examined his brother's body, disappointed to see that he was thoroughly drenched in sweat, his face red and his eyes notably bright in the half-light.

"Too many questions," he muttered, frowning with his eyes closed. "Slow down."

"How are you?" Alphonse tried. "Any better?"

"Worse. Head hurts again. Hot. Feel sick."

"Oh." Alphonse sagged a little, his desire yet inability to help flaring up once again. "Do you need anything? Want medicine?"

"Unngh…no. All good."

"…Okay then. Just keep resting."

"Al…"

"Yes?"

"You got someone out there?"

Alphonse jumped a little, replying with, "Um, yeah. Colonel Mustang and Major Hughes stopped by for a little while. They'll be going soon, I think."

"'Kay," Edward muttered, pressing his cold auto-mail against his face.

Alphonse returned to the table, sighing heavily.

"He says he feels worse," the younger Elric reported begrudgingly, looking at his feet. "And he _still_ won't take medicine."

"Alright." Roy and Maes stood at the same time, both placing their hands on the table.

They exchanged a quick glance before Roy asked, "Where's the medicine, Alphonse?"

"It… It's over there…by the sink."

Maes made a beeline for the kitchen whilst Roy rolled up the sleeves of his white shirt, both men having removed their uniform jackets a short time ago.

"Wh-what…?!" Alphonse started, glancing at the men. "What are you doing?"

"We're going to solve this," Roy proclaimed, gesturing at the door with his thumb. "Just you watch."

"But—"

"No buts!" scolded Maes. "I've had to do the exact same to Elysia on occasion!"

"And," Roy added, "she carries the same stubborn streak as her father here. Edward won't be a problem; I haven't spent the last two years as his commanding officer without learning how to deal with him!"

Alphonse's protests died before ever leaving his helmet as the two officers grabbed the medicine and made for the bedroom.

"Fullmetal?" Roy called quietly into the dim light.

"Go 'way, Colonel."

"Just 'Colonel'…?" echoed Maes.

"Colonel _Bastard," _Edward corrected himself, his words punctuated by painfully prominent huffs of breath. "And company."

"Ed," Maes began. "We're in this room because Alphonse says you won't drink any medicine."

"S'what?" retorted Edward, pushing himself into a sitting position. His body trembled with the effort, and the strain being put on his arms in just this simple movement was clear on his flushed face. "Not your problem."

"It is when you're my subordinate and you're off duty for a sickness that could be solved by something as simple as medicine," Roy pointed out.

"And when you're making your brother worry like that," Maes added.

"Gngh," argued Edward, cringing. "Get out."

"Not leaving 'til you take some," Roy told him.

"You'll be here a while, then," replied Edward. His half-closed eyes indicated that he'd probably fall asleep if Roy and Maes decided they wanted to wait. His head lolled forward a little, then he jerked back up, going an even brighter shade of red. "Look, I'm tired, sick, and I just wanna sleep. You couldn't just gimme one favour and leave me be?"

"Not 'til you take the medicine," Maes repeated stubbornly, crossing his arms and blowing out his cheeks. "C'mon; you'll get better a lot faster if you do."

"No."

Roy narrowed his eyes. "Alright, Ed. You're asking for it now."

"Whatcha gonna do?" Edward snapped, attempting irritation.

"As Colonel Roy Mustang, Flame Alchemist, I am utilising my authority over you, Major Edward Elric the Fullmetal Alchemist, and directly ordering you to take this medicine," Roy said commandingly, tapping the side of the bottle with a spoon.

"That's an abuse of power and status!"

"Should you refuse to obey this direct order, it may result in a court-martial, worst case scenario. In any case, you will most definitely receive some form of punishment, be it a court-martial, a black mark, penalisation or even suspension. The lightest you'll get away with would be—"

"Okay, okay…!" Edward pleaded, showing his palms submissively. "I'll take the damned stuff, just please stop talking… It hurts my head!"

Roy allowed himself a victorious smirk of victory.

Maes stuck out his tongue as he poured the medicine onto the spoon, a habit Roy had figured he had never quite managed to shake off since his childhood.

He handed it to Edward, who held it for a few seconds before stuffily grumbling, "Okay. I'm taking this, but because I want to, not because you told me to."

"Yeah, yeah," Roy retorted with a smirk. "Just take it and get better."

Maes grinned and strode out of the room, proclaiming, "My work here's done. Rest up and get better soon, Ed."

Roy remained, seeing to it that Edward took every last drop of the medicine. Holding it in his mouth and then spitting it out seemed like just the kind of trick he would play.

Once the boy had swallowed, grimacing and flicking his tongue in and out like a cat that had drunk sour milk, he handed the spoon back to Roy.

"Hey, bastard?" Edward asked, his voice rough and hoarse. "Is today Al's birthday?"

Roy cast a glance at the door, then back at his youngest subordinate. "Yes. It is."

Edward closed his eyes, letting out a sigh. "I knew it. That liar. He told me it was only the eighth."

Roy nodded approvingly. "You've got a good intuition."

"No." Edward denied the statement with a sluggish shake of his head. "I just know Al really well."

Roy shrugged. "Fair enough."

Edward pulled a face, rubbing his palm against his forehead in distress. "I didn't even get the chance to buy him anything… Darnit. And he turned thirteen. That's like…_the_ milestone."

Roy's smirk faded and he gave a single nod. "I'm sure he'll understand. Besides, you care enough that you gave up an arm for him. I don't think he'll really mind not getting presents from you. And everyone we know got him something too, so he's not short on gifts."

Edward twitched at the word 'short'.

"Yeah, but still… I gotta keep repaying him for…what happened. And besides, it's what you're supposed to _do_ when it's someone's birthday. I feel bad for not doing it…"

"It's okay. If you want, I can ask Maes to take him out somewhere nice. I can babysit you whilst he's gone."

"I don't need a babysitter! I'm perfectly capable of—Kuhack! Kof, kof!"

Roy raised an eyebrow as Edward doubled over in a heavy fit of coughing. The boy straightened up, wincing and wiping away the tears his coughing had summoned that were streaming down his cheeks.

"You are very sick, Ed," Roy deadpanned. "If it weren't for your brother's respect for your wishes, I'd already have dragged you down to a clinic."

Edward looked up with red-rimmed eyes, half-wondering where Roy was going with this, and sniffed.

"I'm telling you now, you don't have a chance of staying here alone. If not your brother, it'll either be myself or Maes."

Edward's tired golden eyes dulled. "Yeah, but—" He broke off to clear his throat. "But…" He trailed off, unable to think of a clever rebuttal.

"You see?" Roy said. "Now, do you want me to ask Maes to call in sick and take Alphonse out somewhere?"

Edward looked down and nodded. "Yeah. That'd be awesome. He won't hafta deal with me then."

"Good. I'll let them know."

Roy vanished from the room and was back moments later. "He's taking Alphonse to his house first, and then down to the park to play with Elysia. Is that okay?"

"That's great," Edward mumbled, having difficulty keeping his eyes open. "Thanks a heap."

"Okay, then," Roy said. "I'll be in the kitchen if you need anything."

He wandered from the room again, gently closing the door over and leaving Edward in quiet darkness.

* * *

><p><em>We've seen the darkest,<em>

_Things and places on offer._

_Thinking of light hurts._

* * *

><p>"Bwah!"<p>

"What is it, big brother?"

"N-nothing!"

"Lemme see!"

Young Alphonse reached across the wooden floor for his elder brother's piece of paper, grunting with the effort.

"N-no way!" Edward exclaimed, going red and sliding the sheet under his belly.

"I wanna see! I wanna see!" Alphonse protested, climbing onto his brother's back and tugging lightly on his bangs. "Lemme see, big bro!"

"I don't wanna show you! I did somethig weird! Now get off, you big heavy chubby!"

"Can I see it? Please?" Alphonse begged, placing his head on his brother's shoulder. "And I'm not fat!"

"No," muttered Edward. "It's embarrassing. You'll laugh."

"Promise I won't!" Alphonse said pleadingly. "Please let me see!"

Edward scowled, muttering something under his breath. "Okay, fine. But promise you won't laugh!"

"Promise!"

Edward sat up and gently slid the paper out from underneath himself and showed Alphonse. For a moment, the younger Elric didn't know how to react.

"Brother…what is that?"

"It was supposed to be a horse…"

Alphonse scrutinised the scrawled drawing from his vantage point and cocked his head. Eventually, he asked, "Why does it have a pipe sticking out of it's head?"

"That was supposed to be an ear…"

"Oh…" Alphonse looked at the drawing for a little longer, before a smirk twitched on the corner of his lips.

"Al?"

Alphonse let out a snicker, and then burst into a fit of full-blown giggles, rolling off his brother's back and onto the floor.

"You said you wouldn't laugh!" shouted Edward, his face burning red. "You promised!"

"Brother…" Alphonse panted, pointing to the drawing. "Brother, you drew a unicorn!" He exploded into high-pitched laughter, rolling around and clutching his sides.

Edward huffed, then looked back at his drawing and smirked. A grin crept across his face and he too started laughing. "You're right! It does look like a unicorn!"

"A fat one!"

"It's a fat unicorn!"

The two brothers sprawled on the floor, panting and grinning. They looked at the drawing again.

"Pfft! Nyahaha!"

"Ahahaha! Bro drew a fat unicorn!"

The two of them were quite content to spend hours that way, lying on the floor together and drawing silly little doodles.

But good things often had a habit of going awry with the Elric brothers.

* * *

><p><em>Sometimes I wonder,<em>

_Why are you all against us?_

_Someone please help me._

* * *

><p>Edward woke up crying.<p>

He wiped his eyes hastily, muttering, "No, no, no… Not now, not now…"

He choked back the anguished sobs, sniffing and trying to dry his face as fast as he could. He couldn't afford for the Colonel to catch him this way now.

"Fullmetal? Are you okay in there?"

Of course, the world had never worked in Edward's favour.

The boy didn't respond, knowing that if he did, his voice would crack and blow his cover instantaneously. And right now, when he was at his lowest possible point, it just wasn't an option.

"Mm-hm."

"Are you sure? Do you want any water?"

"Mm-mm."

"So, how are you feeling?"

Oh. Okay. How to go about this one? _Okay, okay, okay… Just say one word. That shouldn't give anything away._

"'M fi-ine."

_Crap. Crappity, crappity crap._

"Is there something wrong with your voice?" Roy asked.

Edward lay in dead silence, still facing the wall and trying to stop the frustrated tears streaming down his cheeks. _Dammit, dammit, dammit!_

"Well, you _are_ sick…"

_That's it. That's the reason. Now go on; get out!_

"But seriously, what's wrong with you?" Roy grumbled, throwing his hands on his hips. "Just 'cause your voice is playing up doesn't give you the excuse to not answer me."

"I-I'm just t-tired," Edward stammered angrily, his eyes burning. "Just le-et me sleep."

Roy hesitated at the doorway, his shadow flicking indecisively across the floor. "Are you…?"

Edward let out an uncontainable sob as he finally caved in, surrendering to the pressure that was crushing his soul straight to the cold, unforgiving ground.

"Edward, are you crying?"

The boy sat up, turning to Roy with tears streaming down his cheeks and shouted defiantly, "No! I'm not! Leave me alone!"

Roy, taken aback, blinked astoundedly and dropped his hands by his sides. "H-huh?"

Edward bared his teeth and snarled like a dog, his eyes flashing with pained rage. "Okay, so what if I am?! What'll you do?! Sue me?! Court-martial me, maybe?! Is it going to mark my record, Colonel?! Am I going to be kicked out of the military?! Go on, lecture me! See if I give a damn! I'm allowed to have _some_ emotions, aren't I, bastard?! Or is that forbidden too?!"

Roy blinked again in astonished silence, his mouth hanging open slightly and his eyes clouded with confusion. He'd never seen this side of the boy before; he'd seen him terrified, he'd seen him enraged, he'd seen him depressed, offended and _damn near broken_, but never so…so…young.

"I have feelings, Mustang!" Edward continued angrily. "Not like you could understand! I can't just turn my heart to steel for you! I can only live through so much without breaking! I'm not a cold-blooded, gun-slinging, war-fighting soldier! I can't just kill someone and walk away!"

He threw back his sheets and jumped to his feet, his entire body shaking with exhaustion, rage and grief. "I can't do that! Not like _you_ can!"

Roy's face gained a more offended, angry hue than the surprise it had held before, his eyes darkened. "What are you, Fullmetal?"

Edward glared, but it faltered a little as confusion crossed his gaze.

"Or can I even call you that? 'Fullmetal' my foot. Your arm and leg might be made of it, but you've got the heart of a toddler. Are you even military, or just a whiny little brat? A 'dog of the military'? What a joke! You're not a dog of the military; you're a little puppy! A puppy toted around on a little silver chain. So grow up already! Are you a man or a little kid?"

"I don't know!" Edward yelled back, stamping his foot as his emotions reached a climax. "_I-just-don't-know!_ I've tried to do it! I really have! I've tried to keep strong, but I failed! I failed! Again and again and _again!_ I failed as a son, I failed as a brother, I failed as a soldier, I failed as an alchemist and I've failed as a human!"

Roy's brow furrowed and he snapped right back, "Oh, go on then! Just cry! Bawl your eyes out, pipsqueak! Just cry, like weak the little kid you are!"

"Shut the hell up, you jackass!" Edward clenched his auto-mail arm tight, and flicked his head back at Roy, his breathing ragged. "Just go! Right into the kitchen and grab your gloves! Then come straight back here and kill me right now! Just kill me, that's what I deserve! That's what you're thinking, isn't it, Colonel?! Then just _do it!_ Kill me!"

Roy's anger evaporated.

"Do it!" screamed Edward, slamming his metal fist against his metal leg to create a loud _CLANG! _"Do it right now! Just kill me! I won't be a burden to you, Al, or anyone else anymore! _DO IT!"_

Roy took a deep breath and stepped forward. "I can't do that, Ed. I think you know I can't."

"Well, I'll do it myself then!" Edward decided with an angry laugh, clapping his hands violently and transmuting a blade out of his arm. "I'll do it! I really will!"

Roy's heart missed a beat as he watched Edward raise the blade to his throat, crying with both anger and painful sorrow.

Roy started forward again, raising one hand. "Ed, don't do that—"

"Don't come any closer!" Edward snapped, his eyes flaring.

Roy immediately halted, as if frozen to the spot by some imaginary force.

"I really will do it!" Edward threatened, pressing the blade ever-closer. "I really will! I… I…"

He trailed off, dropping his arms at his sides. "No. I… I can't do that. I could never do that. I'm such a failure… I can't even take my own life. I'm a coward…"

He tapped his hand and it reverted to it's original, less harmful form. Edward dropped to the floor, wrapping his arms around his knees and sobbing. He didn't say anything now, just cried. So quietly.

Roy's legs unfroze from his halted position and he slid onto his knees, weak with relief. He looked up across the room at the boy, who let out a shuddering breath and said hoarsely, "I'm sorry. I'm sorry I did that… I just… I thought…"

"You thought if you did it then everything would be solved," Roy put in for him. "If you could just erase your presence from the world, if you could escape living through the hell inside and around you, then everything would go back to the way it used to be."

Edward's hollow eyes rose slowly from the floor and he hiccuped, meeting Roy's gaze. "Ye-eah. But it won't, will it? I already knew that. Al'd still be s-stuck in that armour, and then he'd have a dead bother to deal with as well. M-me not being here won't make any-y difference at all…but my precense doesn't change anything either. I can't do anything!"

He thumped his head down onto his knees again, his back shivering. "I-I jus-st c-c-can't…!"

Roy put his weight on his hand and pushed himself to his feet, still feeling completely numb from the waist down. He made his way across the room to sit next to Edward, who just cried in silence.

"I know how you feel," he said softly. "You feel useless, don't you? Completely and utterly useless? Like you've failed at everything? Like you're a monster that doesn't even deserve to be human?"

Edward gave a muffled affirmative.

"Don't. You're not. Just because you haven't achieved your goal yet doesn't mean you never will. You've only been at it about three years. You can't expect to fix everything that fast. And besides, what you just did proves your own humanity. That drive to live you just put down as 'cowardice' is a human thing through and through. And have you ever seen a beast get up and do that? Show all those emotions and be unable to kill themself…because they didn't want to hurt their little brother?"

Roy shuffled a little closer until his side was pressed firmly against Edward's, and he said, "I know I can't expect to understand what you're going through - I mean, you're fourteen and in the military - but try to trust me. Don't give in to your feelings. Listen to them, yes. Let them rule you, no. If you want to live a life like this, logic should overrule emotion. However, that doesn't mean you should try to become a heartless killing machine… Just don't do anything irrational based on some crazy feeling you had. And no, I'm not going to court-martial you for crying. Just look at Major Armstrong. A display of emotion is necessary every once in a while. It's not healthy for you to try and stuff everything inside of yourself - it just won't fit."

Edward raised his head a little and Roy continued, looking out the door. "And don't ever pull anything like that on me again. Or anyone else, for that matter. Tears won't get you a Philosopher's Stone. They haven't ever solved anything, and they aren't the end of your suffering. But they're not necessarily a sign of weakness either. Just try to be strong, like I know you can. Things won't get any better for anyone if you just sit about crying, or worse, kill yourself. Because that's when you've become really useless."

Edward remained quiet, his gaze tracing a path around the floor and back up to Roy's face. "Can I borrow your shoulder?"

"Sure."

Edward leant his head against Roy, the last of his tears trickling down his face. "Tha-anks. But can you do me a favour and not tell Al about this?"

"Alright. So long as you don't ever let a thought like that go through your head again."

"I swear, I wo-on't."

"Good." Roy paused. "I'm sorry I shouted at you. I really am. I went too far that time."

"No," Edward mumbled. "I nee-eded that. I really am a selfish brat. I mean, I actually almost considered leaving Alphonse all alone h-here. I never wanted to do tha-at. I'm sorry I said that stuff about you too."

The two fell silent again.

"I wanna see Al," Edward said quietly. "Can you take me to see him?"

Roy looked at the boy, who met his gaze unflinchingly. He still looked like death walking, but there was a stubborn glint in his eyes and Roy got the feeling that taking Edward to his brother was probably the best idea. He didn't look as ill as he had previously - Roy put that down to the medicine he and Maes had forced him to take. But still…

"Please."

"Okay," Roy said with a sigh, giving in. "Put some respectable clothes on and I'll take you. Let's go."

* * *

><p><strong>Alright, that's the middle chapter done! Hope you liked! The next chapter is a feels chapter, probably even more than this one...<strong>

**But anyway, I hope you'll grant me the honour of a nice review, they're always appreciated! (By appreciated I mean loved to bits and make me so happy I get sucked into a massive bubble of good mood and joy and rainbows and flower power and hippies, etc.)**

**So, I've run out of things to say. All that's left is to submit the chapter and hope you like it!**

**Zakuro AWAAAAAAAAAAAAY! *flies away on rainbow dyed red, white and blue for Australia day***


	3. I Can Be Either

**Here it is! The final installment! I hope you all like it! I hope it fulfills all the everything, the way a good ending should!**

* * *

><p><em>We were two alone,<em>

_Here in this world together._

_But some understand._

* * *

><p>"Happy birthday, big little brother!"<p>

"Thank you, Elysia. I really liked your present. And the box was pretty."

"Yay!" The little girl threw her hands in the air and jumped up and down, beaming. "I made it _all_ by myself!"

Her face became adorably sincere. "But take care of Miss Mary, 'kay? She's my favourite dolly."

"I will!" said Alphonse. "I'll be very careful with her."

"Okey-dokey! Now come in 'n' play tea party with me and mommy! And daddy!"

"Okay, Elysia honey, but let them have dinner first," said Gracia with a gentle laugh.

"Oh, I'm good," Alphonse interjected quickly. "I don't need anything to eat, but I'll be happy to sit with you."

"Okay then." Gracia stepped away from the doorway and motioned the two newcomers inside. "But at least take something back for your brother."

"Of course."

Alphonse stepped delicately around the woman, leaving Elysia in full view of her doting father.

"Daddy!" she squealed, reaching up towards her father's face and giggling.

"Elysia!" Maes bent over onto his knees and she jumped into his arms with a laugh. "Hello, my little angel! Did you have fun today?"

"Yeah! Me and mommy made cupcakes! Pink ones! With flowers!"

"Are there any left for me?"

"Yeah! Yeah! I saved some for you, daddy! Big little brother can have one too!"

Gracia looked up at the sky and frowned, tapping her husband on the shoulder. "Come on inside, Maes. Looks like it's going to rain."

"What? Really? On a day like this? It's Al's birthday, for Pete's sake," Maes said, bundling the little girl at his feet into his arms and walking inside. "Rain's a bummer. I hope it doesn't rain on _my_ birthday…"

"Just come in; I'll get dinner started early."

"Can I…?" Maes began, hoisting Elysia onto his shoulders and parading her past Alphonse and down the corridor.

"Yes, you can play with Elysia," Gracia said with a slightly exasperated sigh. She was smiling, however, when the two took off down the hallway to Elysia's bedroom.

Alphonse imaginary-cleared his throat. "Do you need any help with the cooking?"

"No, I'll be fine," Gracia assured him. "You just go and enjoy yourself with those two little kids."

With that, she continued down the hallway and made a left, leaving Alphonse to follow Maes and Elysia. He ducked under the doorframe and into the little girl's bedroom, where she was happily draping fluffy pink blankets over her father's back.

"Hi, Al!" the man greeted joyfully, waving from his cross-legged position on the carpet. Elysia trotted back to the wooden box at the foot of her bed, rummaged around for a bit, and came bouncing back with a toy wand.

"Take this, daddy! You're a fairy!"

"Okey-doke!"

"And big little brother!" Elysia tapped on Alphonse's metal leg and pointed at the dress-up box. "You can be a prince!"

"Okay, then."

Alphonse settled himself on the floor as Elysia bounded back and forth, grabbing various items and placing them all over Alphonse's armour body.

A red cape on his back, a shiny bracelet around his wrist, a toy dog on his lap and finally a plastic crown on his head.

"There! And I can be the princess!" exclaimed Elysia, pulling a pink cape over the yellow dress she wore and donning a tiny tiara. "Now we can play tea party!"

About half an hour into the game, Gracia poked her head in to announce dinner was almost ready. This wasn't the kind of game Alphonse had ever played as a child, or had ever planned to, but seeing Elysia so happy made him happy too.

A couple of minutes later, they removed all the fancy dress clothing and packed away the dolls and cups to go up for dinner.

Alphonse (somehow) went bright red as the family sang happy birthday for him and they talked about all kinds of things. Spending time with this family was probably one of Alphonse's favourite things to do, because it reminded him that even when the world seemed so hard and cold, there were still little bright, warm patches that felt like home.

The Hughes' family home was just one such place, and Alphonse felt enlightened the whole time he spent there, chatting and laughing and playing.

He only wished his brother could have come too.

* * *

><p><em>It might not look it,<em>

_But I'm always here for you,_

_To help you stay strong._

* * *

><p>"Oh, I'm sorry, Colonel. They just left. They were headed for the shops."<p>

"That's okay then. Sorry to trouble you."

Roy nodded his head at Gracia and tapped Edward on the shoulder. "C'mon. Let's go."

"…Mmmph…" Edward nodded sluggishly, rubbing his eyes sleepily and turning to go.

Gracia stepped forward a little. "Oh…! Edward, you look exhausted! Come in for a bit, won't you?"

"Nah… S'okay," Edward assured the woman, giving her a small smile and pulling his cloak tighter around his shoulders and flipping up his hood. "Thanks for the offer."

"Are you sure you don't want to come inside? It's raining terribly heavily out there…" offered Gracia, feeling the need to assist the two somehow.

"We'll be fine," Roy said firmly with a nod of his head. "Thank you."

"At least take this, then," Gracia said worriedly, disappearing behind the door briefly. She reappeared moments later with a large black umbrella, handing it to them.

"Don't want you to catch something dangerous out in rain like that," she told them worriedly. "Now be careful out there!"

"Of course," Roy replied, as Edward took the umbrella. "Thank you."

"Yup," said Edward softly. "We will. Thanks."

The two walked down the steps and Roy ducked his head underneath the shelter of the umbrella before taking it from Edward's gloved hands and hoisting it above them both.

"Gimme that. Short people can't carry umbrellas for other people," Roy said pointedly.

"M'kay…"

Roy did a double-take. "Wait, what?"

"Huh?" Edward looked up at the Colonel, puzzled.

"You…" Roy shook his head. "You didn't even react…when I said you were short…"

"I'm not," mumbled Edward exhaustedly. "I'm not short. You're just…" he broke off into a yawn. "…too tall."

Roy frowned concernedly at the boy as they walked the couple of blocks needed to reach the main retail street of East City.

"Feeling alright?" he asked in a falsely nonchalant tone, keeping his stride a little closer to the young alchemist's.

"Yeah, I'm pretty okay," came the weary response. "Tired, sick, cold and sore, but otherwise okay."

"Sore?"

"Rain." Edward pointed up, his face emotionless. "It doesn't mix with machinery well. Points of contact get pretty painful."

"Alright then," Roy replied, making sure to walk as close to the boy as he could to offer him a little support. "Ah, we're almost there. Just past this dog park, I think…"

Edward closed his eyes and took a deep breath. He didn't know what had hit him earlier on. Had it just been the sickness talking, or was there some deep part of him that really wanted to take his own life?

It was scary.

If anything like that ever happened again, when there was no-one there to stop him... What would happen then? If Roy hadn't been there watching him, reminding him that there were other people in the world and that he wasn't alone, might he have done it? Really, actually done it? _Slit his own throat?_

Roy caught him starting to shake and looked down. "Okay there, kid?"

He nodded. "Yeah."

"Sure?" Roy touched a hand to the boy's forehead. He felt feverish, but not the 'near-hospitalisation' level he had been before.

Edward didn't move, too tired and caught up in his own thoughts to bother pushing Roy's hand away. _What if I lose it completely? What if I end up going mad and hurting people I care about?_

"Edward?"

"What if it _does _happen again?"

Roy moved his hand back off the boy's head. "What?"

Edward stared at the wet ground. "What if I try to…you know… What if I try it again…and I actually…" His voice cracked.

Roy looked up at the shopping district on the far side of the small park. "Come on. 'll let you in on something."

He led the boy over to a bench on a little way across the park. It was sheltered by a huge evergreen tree the largest in the park. And considering the diminutive amount of parks in East City, possibly the largest in the whole place. He took the umbrella down and shook the rain off it.

Edward took a seat, not lifting his stricken gold eyes from the grass. Roy sat down beside him, tapping the point of the umbrella on the ground.

"No doubt you've heard about the Eastern Rebellion?" he said, casting his gaze up to the grey sky. "Now, I'm not sure exactly how much you know, but lot of things happened there. Lots of people were killed."

Edward noted how Roy bluntly stated people had been _killed, _not 'lost their lives'.

"A lot of Amestrians killed a lot of Ishbalans. Alchemists in particular. It was a bad time. And when you've taken so many lives… It starts to affect you."

Edward glanced up at Roy. His black hair was soaking wet, droplets tracing paths down his face and falling onto the coat he'd hastily pulled over himself without putting his uniform jacket back on. His white shirt was marked with spots of rain.

The man's eyes were focused on the clouds, slightly narrowed as they reflected the hundred tones of grey that hung above. His forehead was creased slightly, as if he were thinking hard about the words he spoke.

"Some people ran. Deserters. Some people refused orders. Insubordination. Some tried to help the enemy. Traitors." He paused. "I suppose you could say…for a brief period, I was a traitor."

Edward sat in silence, listening intently.

"Because for a while…" Roy looked down at his hands. "…I was quite content to help the Ishbalans kill one more Amestrian."

The young alchemist's tired mind struggled to figure out what he meant for a few seconds, but then it clicked.

"And it wouldn't have been hard either." Roy continued. "Miles of empty desert with no water. Gloves that could burn a man to a crisp. A gun it would have been all to easy to point at myself…"

"You…?" Edward mumbled.

Roy nodded. "But I didn't. I never tried again once since. If I could do it, so can you. Just remember why you need to be alive."

Edward nodded and they sat in silence for a moment.

"AWOUFF!"

"YACK!"

"Ed?!"

Roy turned and looked over the back of the bench, where Edward was lying sprawled on the floor with a massive husky pinning him to the ground and licking his chin ecstatically.

"G-get off!" the boy shouted between laughter and coughing as the massive dog tickled him with it's tongue. "You massive brute!"

A young woman came running over. "I'm so sorry!" she exclaimed. "Hinto's never done this before!"

She pulled the big dog off Edward by the collar, leaving the boy panting on the ground.

"Dogs pounce me a lot…" he wheezed. "No worries."

"I'm so sorry!" the woman said again. "Bad dog, Hinto!"

Roy stood and offered Edward his hand. "Okay?"

"I'm fine," he responded, doubling over to catch his breath. He watched the lady pull the dog away, still apologising, and stood up straight. A slight smile formed on his lips.

Roy laughed. "Dogs are great aren't they?"

"It tried to kill me with it's tongue."

"Ah, at least they don't run away from you like they do me," Roy said wistfully. "I seem to terrify them."

"Yikes. The great Flame Alchemist's prowess is renowned through all living things. All cower in fear of being barbecued." He grinned a little. "And then stir-fried by Havoc."

They turned one last corner to the market street, which was normally bustling with activity. Today, however, it was only at half-capacity due to the weather.

"Keep an eye out for the seven-foot suit of armour travelling with an over-excitable little kid and a young girl," Roy advised. "We'll find them pretty fast."

Roy's words proved true, the two alchemists making quick work of spotting Maes, Alphonse and Elysia amongst the crowd.

"Hey!" Roy shouted over the heads of various passers by. "Hughes! Alphonse! Over here!"

Neither of them turned, but Elysia - wearing a bright yellow raincoat and riding on her father's shoulders as they waited under a handy canopy for the rain to ease off a little - looked about until her green eyes landed on Roy and Edward.

"Ah!" Her tiny face lit up. "Daddy! Daddy! It's Uncle Roy and little big brother!"

"Huh?" Maes cast a glance upwards. "What was that, honey?"

"Little big brother and Uncle Roy are over there!" exclaimed Elysia, patting her father's cheeks and then pointing in the direction of the two state alchemists.

Maes followed her gaze and his eyes widened in surprise upon reaching their destination. "So it is! Hey, Alphonse! Your brother's over there!"

"What? In this weather? Big brother!"

The three made their way over, Maes taking Elysia off his shoulders to carry her in his arms and Alphonse's pace picking up as he drew closer to his elder brother.

"Hi, little big brother! And Uncle Roy!" Elysia reached out with one hand and patted Roy on the head, giggling. "Why're you outside when it's raining, Uncle Roy? Daddy says when it rains you're as useful as a…umm…what was it? Ah!"

Elysia grinned as she remembered. "A screen door on a submarine!"

"Ack!" Roy's face gained a distinctly crushed look as Elysia laughed and continued to pat his sodden black hair. "Maes, how could you?"

"Oh, come on Roy, you know I wouldn't really mean a thing like that…" The grin on the man's face said otherwise, however.

Alphonse looked down at his brother scornfully, hands on metal hips. "Brother, if I'd known you'd follow me out into the rain, I would have stayed behind!"

Edward didn't reply, just smiled gently as his hair began to stick to his face with water. "Yeah."

"You know being out in this weather can't be good for you! Just look at yourself; you're soaked! That's really bad for you when you're sick," Alphonse forged on. "And your auto-mail might get rusty. Isn't it sore? Let's get you back to the dorms and dry you off…"

"Happy birthday, Al," Edward murmured, reaching up to place his hand on his brother's arm. "Sorry I didn't get you anything. I'll make it up to you, though, I promise."

"I don't need your presents, brother," Alphonse said sternly. "You taking better care of yourself would probably be the best gift you could give me!"

"If you say so," Edward responded. "But I'm still gonna treat you somehow. Just wait. But Alphonse…"

"Yeah?"

Edward opened his mouth as if he had something to say, but then closed it again and shook his head, smiling. "Never mind. It's nothing."

"Okay then."

The five of them picked their way back through the street to Maes's car, Roy carrying the umbrella for both Maes and Elysia and Alphonse trying to shield his brother from the rain as best he could.

The armour-bound alchemist was surprised to find that his brother wasn't walking a couple of feet ahead of him or a little more to the side like usual, but right alongside him.

The Fullmetal Alchemist was indeed walking very closely to his younger brother, although he wasn't quite sure why. He felt the sudden urge to be as close as possible to him for some reason or the other, and even brushed right up against him on occasion.

Alphonse kept glancing down at him, and eventually Edward stated, "If you're wondering why I'm walking so close, it's because I might need you to catch me if I suddenly collapse."

Alphonse imaginary-sighed and rolled his eyes, holding out a hand for his brother. "Here, then. Take my hand. I don't want to lose you in the crowd."

Edward nodded and obliged, too tired to protest. "Alright."

Roy cocked his head at the two, his eyes slipping down to the grip they shared.

"What happened when we were gone?" Maes murmured. "Something happened. What was it?"

"Nothing major," Roy explained. "I think it was just Edward realising how much he needs to stay with his brother…"

"Whatcha talking about, daddy?" Elysia called up from her position at her father's feet. "Is it soldier stuff?"

"Yeah, that's what," Maes told her. "I don't want you worrying about it, so you don't need to know. It's boring, anyway. Lots of paperwork and phone calls."

"And guns?" Elysia asked quietly. "Daddy…do soldiers kill people? Mickey said that soldiers have guns and they go to war and kill people…"

Maes' brow furrowed at this out of the blue question and then his expression softened. "No, sweetie. The soldiers are there to protect you. Daddy doesn't use guns, daddy does desk work. Some soldiers have to fight other people, but daddy doesn't do that. Daddy doesn't like to hurt anyone, but sometimes…"

Roy's heart twisted. The expression on Maes's face wasn't one he liked to see - saying this to his daughter was hurting him. He was lying to her and they both knew it.

"But," Roy added. "If he has to, your daddy will take a gun and protect you and your mommy with it. _That's_ what soldiers do."

Elysia's face brightened a little. "So, when I grow up, I can be a soldier and protect you and mommy?"

Maes shook his head stubbornly. "No! I'll be a soldier for as long as it takes to protect both you and mommy! That's _my _job! You don't have to do any of the boring paperwork!"

Roy smiled. "Listen to your daddy, Elysia. He's right. And I'll help him protect you, too."

"What about little big brother and big little brother? Are they gonna protect people or be protected?"

Roy frowned. "Ah…"

He looked down at the little girl, who stared up at him with curious green eyes. "Edward and Alphonse are a little different. They protect each other, Elysia. And whilst they're doing that, I'll be protecting both of them. Do you understand?"

Elysia smiled and nodded. "Yup! Soldiers are for protecting people! I'm gonna be a soldier and protect people like you do, and daddy, and little big brother!"

Maes scowled. "Now what did I say? I don't want you out doing dangerous things! You stay safe and let daddy watch over you!"

Roy handed Maes the umbrella and motioned towards Edward. "Go on up there and carry that over him. I don't want him getting any wetter than he already is. I'll stay back here."

"Okey-dokey," Maes said, moving up beside the two Elric brothers.

Roy walked behind them at a slower pace, contemplating.

_"Daddy, do soldiers kill people?"_

"_Yikes. The great Flame Alchemist's prowess is renowned through all living things. All cower in fear of being barbecued."_

_"I can't just kill someone and walk away! Not like you can!"_

These and many other words raced through Roy's thoughts, and he slowed almost to a stop.

_Yes_, he thought heavily. _Soldiers _do _kill people. That's our job. The job I've done so well for over half my life. I really am a dog, aren't I?_

He stopped moving altogether, looking at his hands as the rain poured down on him. _How many people have I killed so far? There's so many I can't even count. I… I…_

He turned his hands over to examine the backs, noting how foreign and bare they looked without his gloves on.

_Can a power like that ever be used to protect?_

"Roy! You coming?!" Maes called back.

Roy's head snapped back up. "Oh! S-sorry! Just spaced out a little there! My brains must still be fried from that all-nighter!"

He jogged forward a little and caught up.

They rounded the corner and Maes unlocked his car. "You two brothers squish in the back there. Elysia, you can sit beside Ed and us two'll be in the front," he decided, nodding towards the car. "Now, get in there."

The three kids obliged, Alphonse trying to make himself as small as possible and Elysia half-sitting on Edward's lap.

Maes hopped behind the wheel and started the car up. A conversational babble broke out in the back of the car, leaving Roy and Maes to their own devices.

"So," Maes said, blowing out his cheeks a little. "What's bothering you?"

"Why would something be bothering me?" Roy responded, fiddling with the stars on his shoulders. "I'm not at work or flaming stuff, so I'm automatically being bothered by something?"

"The day that Roy Mustang danders through the streets in the rain without complaining is the day that something's bothering him," Maes replied, speaking as if it were some well-known fact that any person with an ounce of general knowledge would know. "So what is it?"

"Your daughter is just like you," Roy informed his friend in an almost thoughtful manner. "She has the same sort of 'out of the blue with no warning' thing."

"So that's it," Maes said, swinging a left and hardening his expression. After a few seconds of thought, he began to speak again. "She does, now that I think about it. That's definitely me; Gracia's far too polite. But y'know, she's got a good heart. Real good. _That's_ like Gracia."

"You too," Roy put in. "When you're not being an obnoxious, rambling fool."

Maes let out a laugh. "If you say so. Anyways, I've been thinking recently. It's like what that one alchemist said - Kimmy or whoever - us humans are always trying to think of ways to justify our actions, aren't we? We're always like, 'I did it because I thought it was right' or 'I did it because that's what I was told', or even 'I did it because I wanted to'. But just 'cause we think it's right, doesn't make it right, does it?" he mused.

Roy nodded in mute agreement, half surprised into silence; Maes wasn't the type of person to really talk about this kind of thing.

"But then, what if we do something we think is wrong because someone told us to? Does that mean _they_ must see it as right? Are we still the ones at fault for doing it? But what if we thought it was wrong when it was actually right? Does that make us evil? And what about a person who does something that's wrong to us, but they think it's totally okay? Are they evil then, or are they doing good? It's all about perspectives, Roy. If you've done something that you think is wrong, and feel guilty for it, then you're probably on the side of what you see is right."

Roy was at a complete loss now. His best friend was spouting utter babble that made no sense, at all, whatsoever. "Maes, you've lost me."

The man grinned. "If a soldier is given a direct order to kill an innocent person, and they do it even though they don't want to, who is the evil one? The soldier or their superior? Who has the blood on their hands?"

"It's the soldier, Maes," Roy muttered dully. "He's the one that did it."

"Yeah, he might have done it, but that's like saying if a man stabs someone, the knife is the murderer."

The Colonel puzzled on this.

"Roy, we both know what happened in Ishbal wasn't right. But we had our orders, what could we do?" Maes almost whispered. "It was either fight, or let down ourselves, our country, our ambitions and just die. If we believe it was wrong, then we believe it was wrong. But it was the _Fuhrer_ who was wrong. We're just his knife. He's got the blood on his hands, so leave that for him to deal with. All we have to do is try and make up for not refusing those orders whilst we had the chance, or having done something more to stop that genocide."

Roy heard the chatter in the back start to die down a little, and he looked back.

Edward had basically dropped where he sat, his energy having hit rock bottom. His head was leaning back on both Alphonse's side and the seat, his yellow bangs starting to curl and frizz as they dried. Elysia yawned and stretched, curling into his side and closing her eyes. Alphonse's scarlet eyes had narrowed to slits, giving him a sort of drowsy appearance and he sat still so his brother could lean against him.

"And the best way to make up for it all is to become Fuhrer and fix this twisted country, isn't that right?" Maes said softly, turning down the street the Hughes family house was situated on. "And to switch those flames in another direction; protect those important people instead of killing for no reason."

Roy smirked tiredly. "That's right."

"I'm _always_ right," Maes stated in an egocentric manner. "I'm still right, even when I'm wrong. In some way."

Roy gave an amused snort and nodded, "You wish."

"I'm not kidding. I am the most right-est person on the planet. I'm so right, wrongness cowers at the very sound of my name; Maes Hughes, the King of Right!"

"More like the King of Left," Roy muttered, nudging his friend good naturedly. "You idiot."

"I may be," Maes said with a nod as he removed the keys from the ignition. "But you have to admit; I'm smarter than you sometimes. Don't try to deny it."

"Sadly," Roy said with a snort. "I can't say you're wrong there."

They both got out of the car and went round of the back and opened the doors.

"Huh?" Alphonse's helmet jerked up and snapped in all directions. "We're here? I totally zoned out there…"

Roy nodded. "Yeah, we're here alright. Getting out?"

Maes grabbed Elysia's sleeping form out of the back of the car and Alphonse nudged his brother into some state of wakefulness, all of them piling out of the car.

"Edward looks like a dead boy walking," Roy commented as he rang the doorbell, motioning at the drowsing teen as they waited for Gracia to answer.

Edward didn't reply, somewhat unsurprisingly.

Alphonse gave a little sigh as he looked down at his brother. "Of course he does. He didn't even rest, just ran right out in the rain. Isn't that right, bro?"

Edward rubbed his chin on his shoulder, yawning.

"I'll take that as a yes."

Gracia opened the door and beckoned them all inside, welcoming home Maes and Elysia and greeting Roy and the Elric brothers with her usual kindness.

Almost immediately, her motherly instincts kicked in and she hustled Edward off down the corridor to the spare room to sleep without even hearing a word of complaint from the boy.

Both Alphonse and Roy were thankful for this.

"Oh! Alphonse!" Gracia began as she stepped back into the room. "Elysia and I baked cake for your birthday. Do you and Roy want to come and have some?"

Alphonse looked at Roy, who shrugged. "Alphonse has already eaten today, and since part of his training is fasting as well as wearing that armour, he doesn't eat again 'til later, but I'm sure he could take some with him."

"I can share with my big brother," added the younger Elric.

"And what about you, Roy?"

The Colonel shrugged again. "I don't see why not."

* * *

><p><em>A dog can't sprout wings,<em>

_Nor can birds grow pointed fangs,_

_But what's to say I…_

* * *

><p>"…can't take turns being either?" Edward finished, folding his hands behind his head. "I mean, if the Colonel here thinks I can't be a kid and a soldier, I'll just have to shift. You know, act as a soldier when I need to and still have a little time to muck around with you too?"<p>

Alphonse gave a quiet giggle. "I suppose. I mean, if it's gonna be like this, then why shouldn't we have some fun along the road?"

Edward grinned and nodded. "Yeah! Who says we're too old for this kinda thing?"

"Big brothers! Big brothers! Lookie!" Elysia exclaimed, grabbing at Edward's trouser leg. "I'm a princess again! A pretty princess!"

Edward smiled at the little girl as she ran circles around the living room, giggling and cheering. "I'm a princess, little big brother is my puppy, big little brother is my birdie, daddy is the king, mommy is the queen and Uncle Roy is a wizard! A magic wizard with magic gloves!"

Roy, decked out in a sparkling cape and top hat, sighed resignedly as Maes slapped him on the back and grinned, waving his crown in the air.

Gracia smiled gently and tried to tone down her excitable daughter, but not quite managing.

A week after Alphonse's birthday, the world had returned to normal and Edward had fully recovered.

Roy was still partially depressed by Elysia's increased repeating of Maes comparisons (inflatable dart board, waterproof sponge, invisible practise target, stopped clock, etc.) and refused to go out in the rain at all for a while afterwards.

He was quite pleased, however, by being referred to as 'a magic wizard with magic gloves' whilst Edward was stuck with 'puppy'.

"And we can all be happy together!" proclaimed the little girl. "And you don't have to do boring soldier stuff here, you can protect each other! Yeah?"

The two men in the room smiled and nodded simultaneously. "Yeah."

Edward closed his eyes and leant back on the sofa. "Al?"

"Yeah?"

"Do you wanna go home and pay Winry a little visit as a late birthday present from me?" the boy asked. "Would that work?"

"That's fine with me, brother. Absolutely fine."

"Cool. Let's do that then."

"And then we'll have cake!" called Elysia. "Right, mommy? Little big brother was sick and sleepy last time and didn't have any cake for big little brother's birthday, so we should have more now! 'Kay?"

"Alright, dear," Gracia said with a sigh. "We can do that."

"Yay! Cake for mommy and daddy and Uncle Roy and big brothers! We'll all be like a happy family!"

* * *

><p><strong>Was it good? Or was it HOOOOORRRRRIIIIIBBBLLEEE?! I sincerely hope it wasn't the latter.<strong>

**Okay, thanks a ton to everyone who read, review, followed and/or favourite-eded...ed...ed! I appreciate the positive comments and everything! They make me so excited! So for the last chapter, I hope you'll all give me a little bit of feedback - like what I did well (or not well) and what I should do next or some time in the future.**

**But then you don't have to. Just having people read my stories is good enough for me!**

**ZAKURO AWAY FOR THE LAST TIME IN THIS STORY! *rainbows off hoping I'll get some lovely review to mentally OM NOM NOM when I check them***


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